What do I want to be when I grow up? (Posted 2008)

Ok, #3 has hit 2 1/2 (and all the glorious things that go along with being a full-fledged 2 year old that we won't get into right now) and I am realizing that it won't be all that long before she too goes to school. That leaves me and Brutus-the-dog home all day by ourselves (I love Brutus, but he isn't much of a conversationalist). I never used to see being home all day by myself as a problem. Dave and I had an agreement that if I didn't run us into irreparable financial ruins with my shopping habit while he was in law school then he would never ask me to go out and earn money. I held up my end of the deal so I am not require by MARRIAGE LAW to get a "real job". But, now that the wee ones are getting older the prospect of being home alone all day doesn't appeal to me as much as it once did.

Now, here's the rub...I don't know what I want to do. I mean I have a dream job in my head...I would get paid a lot of money to shop, talk on the phone and play on the computer all day. I would get to make my own hours and do the job tasks at my leisure. I could wear what I want and have great co-workers who I go out with for a drink after work sometimes (and important mandatory dinners would take place at fancy shmancy restaurants where it is almost required that you order the lobster). The job would be near my favorite coffee shop and maybe near a good manicure shop or massage parlor. Ok, so if anyone knows of a job that fits these requirements please let me know (oh, and I would prefer not to relocate...thanks).

Now, seriously, I have a legitimate problem here because I HONESTLY do not know what I want to be when I (or rather my children) grow up. Here are my skills...at least I THINK they are my skills...or people TELL ME they are my gifts...of course, I have a lot of nice friends who may just be telling me what I want to hear, but regardless...here is the list I have compiles (on the back of an envelope in purple crayon):

- I have excellent people skills: This meaning I can talk to ABSOLUTELY anyone...even some of the grumpy-faced 1st grade mothers who really hate to see me walk in the door.

- I love to feature write...like this blog. It is SUCH a stress-reliever for me. I don't even care if anyone reads it (except now I OFFICIALLY have three readers: Hi Julie, Kate and Erin!)

- I can talk on the phone like nobody's business...although sometimes it is about EVERYONE'S business (just kidding)

- I am pretty technologically savvy...I can explain ANYONE's cell phone/camera/etc to them without the manual

- I can find anything about just about ANYTHING on the net...I once took a picture with my phone of a friend's tattoo and then researched the symbol on the Internet because she wouldn't tell me what it meant...It took me less than a day to figure it out. I mean, I'm not bragging or anything, but THAT is pretty...ya know...impressive.

- I can sell ice to Eskimos...but not Mary Kay to random strangers. I am not a "cold-call" kinda gal. I like to hot calls or better yet receive hot calls - (i.e. someone calling me to say "I hear you sell Mary Kay...can I buy some from you?")

- Did I mention that I love to talk? I mean to ANYONE...#1 tells everyone a story about how I struck up a conversation with a woman at McDonald's (actually I wiped her baby's nose because it was really gross and she was wearing a front-pack carrier and couldn't see that it was almost running into the baby's mouth) and a few months later she showed up at one of my Mary Kay parties with a friend of mine who came. Small world. She remembered me as "that chatty girl from McDonald's who wiped her infant's nose".

- I am pretty motivated...and organized...well, except for my house...and my car. But I am REALLY organized when I am 1st grade room mom (or Kindergarten for that matter as I have successfully completed a year as such)

Now, I think that gives you a pretty good idea of what I CAN do...let's list what I might not consider to be my strong points:

- I hate bodily fluids...I only say this because it seems that ALL my friends ship their youngest child off to Kindergarten and head to nursing school...not for me. I don't do bodily fluids unless they are mine or my offspring's (and even that gets kinda hairy sometimes)

- I don't want to work weekends

- I don't want to work FREQUENT evenings (notice I said FREQUENT...and put it in caps...I am willing to go to an occasional dinner at a fancy restaurant and have fillet Mignon while drinking wine and talking business once in a while if I must...but this cannot be every night...and late nights at the desk just aren't gonna happen)

- I don't want anyone's life to depend on what I do. Originally I went into Mary Kay because I thought "making people pretty isn't too stressful...it will be fun". See, I didn't want to sell defibrillators. I knew straight-away that it was too much stress. One malfunctions and I could never live with myself.

- Oh, oh...I don't want to lift boxes. I realize that this would get me into shape, but if you read my last blog then you understand my feelings on exercise - and I think the dress code would discourage boots with 4 inch heels.

So, this is my dilemma...WHAT can you do with these fine skills? NADA...Nothing...Zip. In all seriousness I would love to do one of a number of things

...be an admissions counselor for a college (but I am 15 credits away from a college degree...I am willing to bet that they want someone who actually HAS a degree to interview people hoping to EARN a degree...just a good policy, I think)

...a travel agent (downfall: may require weekend work AND sitting in an office for lots of hours...could mean a bigger butt?)

...an outside sales person (Just can't figure out WHAT to sell or who to sell it to...would probably have to take a class to actually LEARN some sales skills...Mary Kay didn't quite ready me for pharmaceutical sales)

So...help? Suggestions?? Wanna draw up my resume? Hire me? Let me know if you come up with anything fabulous because as of right now I am probably going to end up sitting at home (yeah, right) with Brutus-the-dog watching soap opera's...ok, that is a bit of a stretch. I will probably end up shopping and spending a bunch of money running us into the debt that Dave worried about in law school. Yeah, I better get an idea...soon.