Tonight I shall sleep alone (Posted 2008)

#3 finally got her new bed today..we have been meaning to get one for her since she commandeered #1's in the fall. It just never happened. Originally, she had a crib and then her toddler bed in a room that she shared with big sister. Well, before long the toddler bed just wasn't good enough for her and she decided #1's bed looked more comfortable and moved right in. #1 didn't complain because she moved right into Dave's spot in my bed. Dave moved to the spare bedroom in the basement. And there we stayed...for months. But it didn't just stop there...Nights in our home were insane. It went something like this most nights:

7:00 pm: Put baby in her/#1's bed with doorknob handle lock on...pray, read story, give kisses, shut off light...make sure all writing utensils are removed from the room. Double check outlet covers and look for metal objects. Take nightstand with me (she turns it upside down to jump off of onto the bed)...Blow kisses. Leave.

7:30: Read to the boy. Sing lullaby. Prayers. Leave light on (we are talking overhead bright light, not some little night light...the boy likes brightness). Blow kisses. Leave.

7:35: Tell boy to go back to bed after refilling night cup with water and putting a 2nd diaper over the first...he leaks...A LOT.

7:45: Put #1 in (my) bed. Pray, listen to her read, read to her, turn out lights, prop door, turn on hall light blow kisses...Leave.

7:55: Tuck #1 back in bed

8:10: Tell #1 firmly to go back to bed when she comes down with "important questions" she just remembered.

8:15: Talk to #3 about not kicking the door and getting back in bed.

8:16: Threaten #1 with punishment if she gets out of bed again even though her complaints are warranted because #3 is keeping her up with the door kicking.

10:00: Check everyone to make sure they are asleep. Pick up #3 from inside the door and put her back in bed. Turn off #2's light. Move #1 over so I have a spot to slide into. Slide in.

11:45: Game of "Find the Mama" begins...#2 calls out for me. I call back "Go back to sleep...I am just over here in my bed".

11:46: #2 calls out again...I reply "I am RIGHT OVER HERE...Go back to sleep"

11:47: #2 joins #1 and I in bed. Neither will lie next to one another so I am squished in the middle...on my back...arms at my sides...#1 plays with my left earlobe while #2's hand is down my shirt playing with a mole (he calls this "rubbing my marble"...I know, gross, but it is his thing.

12:26: I am fed up and stiff from lying in one position for too long and do a unique shuffle slide move right down the middle of the bed on my back with my arms at my sides under the covers until I slide off the end and my butt hits floor before standing up and blindly walking to #2's room and crawling in bed. On the way, I hit #3's nightstand, hurt my thigh and make a loud banging sound as it hits the wall....

12:30: Crawl in #2's bed. Get really hot because he has a plastic mattress cover (remember the leaking), but don't get the chance to actually brak a sweat because...

12:31: #3 cries out...Wait for a moment to see if she cries a second...and a third time (maybe a fourth depending on the night). She does scream repeatedly so I get up and play "Nuk search". Laying on the floor, feeling blindly because if you turn the light on it might wake her fully. No luck with the Nuk so I slide around the room on my hands and knees looking for JUST ONE FREAKIN' NUK...I think we have purchased about 4 dozen of these things in the last two years. Finally, find a Nuk by laying ON the child and feeling along the side of the bed between the mattress and the wall. Plug Nuk into baby...head back out the door. Wait outside doo for 10 seconds to make sure she isn't going to cry out again.

12:32: Baby cries out again. I head back into her room and crawl in #1's TWIN bed. #3 falls back to sleep eventually.

12:56: Back to #2's bed.

1:49: #2 continues the game of "Find the Mama" when he shows up along side of his bed asking to crawl in. I move over and he moves in.

2:46: #1 comes over muttering the entire time about how everyone always leaves her alone in the bed (nobody ever wants to sleep with her, everytime she wakes up everyone is gone, yadda yadda yadda). #1 moves in on the other side. One earlobe, one "marble"...

4:45: Must pee. Get up...disturb everybody. #1 and #2 snuggle together without me (take a moment to appreciate cuteness). Nuk search (see 12:31 timeslot). Back into my own bed...#1 (my insomniac) stirs and heads to the bathroom with me. Decides it is an ideal time to tell me about her day/ask what my favorite kind of pizza is/talk about her outfit for tomorrow/etc. I listen half-heartedly until she requires an answer, mutter and answer and send her back to bed...Crawl back in with #1 and #2 because it is the place most likely to get a little rest.

6:30: #3 knocks on her bedroom door...loudly. I do a quick peek to see who is around me...#1 has left because #2's bed in only a full-size and she was "squished". Roll out and go open #3's door. Find #1 in bed with Dave.

My day has begun. Now, please understand...this isn't EVERY night. Only about 2/3 of the nights. And, actually, most night #3 sleeps straight through as long as the Nuk stays only an arms-reach away.

So, as of today, we have beds for everyone and hopefully everyone will stay in their bed. As of this moment, #3 is screaming in her bed. I have been up there 4 times and she is not interested in working with me so there she is...in her new bed with her fancy Dora sheets...crying. #1 is with her though so hopefully things will calm down. Wish me luck. I think I will go to bed early tonight because it may be a long one. I will keep you posted.